Tuesday, June 10, 2008

A Response to tthe allegations of abuse

Over 17 years of marriage no allegations of abuse were made to anyone by my ex-wife or her family. The allegations began at the first hearing of the divorce proceeding and I am convinced were motivated by the advice of Cindy's counsel and parents as a way to gain advantage in the proceeding. Cindy knew how much I would do and give up to keep a relationship with my children. If she could convince the judge early and dramatically that I was a threat to her and/or the children she would have the upper hand.

As a very fit 6'5' 325 pound defensive tackle, some 10 years straight as a member of the Muscle and Fitness Magazines All-NFL Strength Team in a court room where no one knew me and the people worked with and thought they were familiar with Cindy and her family I was an easy ambush.

Cindy had gone so far as to have taken the children to a therapist who amounted to an "expert" for Cindy's case. This person had been seeing the children for, as I recall some six months and had really developed a pack of just utter Bullshit about the relationship I had with my children. Things like the kids were "afraid of me." What a crock Anyone who knows me knows no child has ever feared me and certainly not my own angels. It was sickening.

This was the beginning of the allegations of abuse. They continue to this date and have become all the more exaggerated and ridiculous.

I ask people to see there is no evidence of abuse other than Cindy's statements. No police reports, no independent testimony, nothing. I also ask people to remember that during the kids' childhood, we had live-in-nannies and other employees with free access to the house, and Cindy's brother and parents were also frequent visitors. During the divorce proceedings, Cindy could present no one to substantiate her allegations regarding the children or herself. In addition, think about how quickly any allegations of domestic violence about NFL Players reaches the news and the league and how quickly and seriously teams and the League act in those circumstance; however, In 17 years of marriage NOTHING!

Keep in mind, Cindy was and is not a kind of helpless person who was so afraid that she could not reach out. She was two months shy of her 28th birthday when we married and I was a 21-year- old fresh out of the Oregon woods. She had a college degree and had been acting professionally in Los Angeles for years. She attended law school during the marriage, as you know if you have read other parts of this blog, and had access to all assets of the marriage. Cindy's parents have three Ph.Ds between them.

38 comments:

Karl said...

Joe, God Bless...it's heart-wrenching to see any father having to write a blog like this. I was fortunate to see the Chiefs play the Cards in AZ in 1995 and I spoke briefly with you after the game. Gentle giant was the way I described you to my wife when I got home. Very soft spoken with a smile that lit up your whole face. A man at peace and happy with his place in the world. I can't help but feel that it will all work out for you with Ashley. Just give her time. Karl Albuquerque NM

Laggin said...

This breaks my heart, Joe. You and I were in law school together; we had several classes togehter. (In fact, I took notes for you when you were on the road for the Chargers in my 3rd year.)

I have a very clear memory of a conversation you and I had about Cindy way back then. That's why this makes me so very sad. At the time, I thought you were joking; maybe, not so much. Eh?

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